


I hate how much I love you

by SlytherinsInSpace



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Canon, Childhood Memories, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, POV Draco Malfoy, Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 06:10:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14949065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlytherinsInSpace/pseuds/SlytherinsInSpace
Summary: Draco Malfoy grew up knowing Harry Potter was going to be his best friend in the entire world; well- first year smashed that fantasy into a million little pieces and now he's left with an enemy he never really wanted. Between scowls and taunts Draco might just find- he doesn't hate Harry at all. In fact- maybe he kindof- likes him?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so this wouldnt get out of my head and I know I have a million things I should be working on but I dont have too long to be working on them and they require a lot more mental energy than this one so this is what we get for now. <3 all of you and I promise to get back to the WIPs I have working right now but- uh- have another WIP that will finish- sooo much sooner.

The story of Harry Potter- was one well known to all wizarding children by the time they were five. Draco was no exception to this rule. Sure, his father rolled his eyes when they read the picture book- muttered scar head under his breath but his mother- she spoke in soft and captivating voices. Acting out the downfall of the dark lord. At the hands of a child just- like- him.

 

“one day I’m going to meet him, and we’re going to be best friends right mama?” tiny Draco asked- spinning around the room a ball of bright blonde energy- far too hyper for his father’s liking but it suited his mother just fine.

 

She smiled up at him from her book she read on the sofa; “yes Draco dear, in fact you should be attending Hogwarts the same year if I’m not mistaken.”

 

He grinned from ear to ear. Harry Potter would be his best friend if it was the last thing he did. “mama- read me the story again!” he demanded- hurling himself onto her lap- bouncing with excitement.

 

“you really love this book, don’t you?” she asked with a chuckle, settling down to read it once again.

 

“I love it- and I love Harry and one day he’ll love me too.”

 

His mother gave him a pat on the head and began reading from his picture book for what could only be the thousandth time.

  
*** 

 

By the time Draco was nine- everyone in his entire life was sick of hearing about Harry Potter. In Draco’s mind they were already best friends. It was only a matter of time before they met and would get into all sorts of mayhem together. When his mother bought him his first broom he had of course asked for one for Harry as well.

 

“what will he ride when he comes to visit over the summer mother? Those muggles surely won’t have gotten him one.” He had argued in the store, “its what best friends do right mother?”

 

She had folded, not wanting to remind him that he had never in fact met this boy and he may not be as wonderful as Draco imagined him to be. There were years yet for him to discover that the world was a cold and unforgiving place. She would shield him from that pain as long as possible.

 

The brooms sat in the cupboard side by side. Waiting for the day that Harry Potter himself waltzed into Malfoy manor to claim his.

 

A day she highly suspected may never happen. But she didn’t have it in her to break her own son’s heart. Not when she knew the world would do it enough for him.

 

They trained in the garden- Narcissa herself had been a top-notch seeker in her day. They zipped back and forth- chasing after the golden snitchet. Grinning in the grass as her son grew smarter- grew sharper and faster.

 

She had no doubts he could take on the best of the best when he reached the right age. Though all he seemed to care about was playing beside Harry.  


“mother; do you think I could be a beater?” he asked one day as they practiced flying; he held his lanky arms in the air and poked himself in his small arm.  


“you’ve got more of a seekers build love.” She replied smiling at the idea of passing the gauntlet on through the family.

 

“but I don’t want to be a seeker!” he countered.

 

She wasn’t going to pretend it didn’t hurt- after all he was a natural.

 

“there’s nothing wrong with being a seeker dear- I myself played for Slytherin when I was in school.” She began,

 

“yes, mother I know. But if I’m a seeker Harry and I will have to be separated- Beaters are always together. Like twins.” He said with a grin.  


she laughed- finally understanding where this was going.  


“well we had better have the elves start giving you some more protein- get some meat on those bones little one.” She replied-

 

His face lit up.

 

She wondered how long it would be like this.

***

 When Draco was eleven years old- he almost shook right out of his skin.

 

But he didn’t; because Malfoy’s don’t do that. Malfoys are calm and professional. Father said so.

 

Malfoy’s do not act like deranged little spaz’s.

 

So- Draco stayed very still. Insides bursting to break free- excitement on his tongue. But silence on his lips.

 

“mother. Do you think he will be there today?” he asked- attempting his very best impression of his father.

 

Back straight- mouth pursed- conveying a level of indifference he had yet to master- but at the very least could attempt to fake.

 

“I’m not sure dear- muggles aren’t always too fond of coming to magical London.”

 

His face screwed up in confusion. Why someone wouldn’t want to experience magical London was an anomaly to him.

 

There was nothing he didn’t love about diagon ally. The lights, the shops, the people. He wasn’t cooped up in the house anymore. There was magic in the air and he could feel It. It was the most beautiful place he had ever been in his entire life.

 

“well- next year we will just have to bring him. Those stupid muggles can just stay home.” He huffed- frown turning deeper into a scowl.

 

“of course, dear.” His mother replied, and it earned her a small smile in return.

 

“let’s go get a wand mother- it’s the most important thing after all.”

 

She followed him; after all today was all about him.

 

The first time Draco met Harry Potter- was an utter disaster. At least the first time he knew it was Harry Potter because that first time didn’t count- he didn’t know it was him. Of course, he didn’t put his best foot forward.

 

Now- thinking about it; he wasn’t sure he put the best foot forward the second time either. Considering how it all turned out.

 

He had imagined this moment a million times and never once did he think he would end up feeling so utterly rejected and alone by the end of it.

 

He went through the sorting ceremony in a bit of a daze- surely the hat would put Potter in Slytherin where they both belonged, and he could apologize when they got to the common room and everything would be back on track.

 

“better be- GRYFFINDOR” the hat yelled

 

And his heart sunk deep into his stomach.

 

If four-year-old Draco could see him now- he firmly believed he would be punched in the face repeatedly with tiny fists for how badly he had fucked this all up.

 

His father would never forgive him for being friends with a bloody Gryffindor.

 

His whole life plan was crashing down around him amidst the cheers of the Gryffindor tables.

 

Harry Potter hated him- and that left him with just one option.

 

They had to be enemies.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The first summer back after school was a tough one- he spent quite a lot of it locked away in his bedroom whining to the house elves about all that had gone on that year.

“and then- “he started, “Dobby! Are you listening to me?”

“yes, master Draco.” Dobby replied from the foot of his bed where Draco had suggested he sit for the remainder of this conversation.

“good- and then Bloody Saint Potter had to go and get himself attacked by the dark lord himself! What eleven-year-old even does that! What kind of idiot thinks- oh well I’m just going to throw myself through this trap with a giant! A giant three headed bloody dog that is trying to eat me; through all these bloody traps just to get to the man who is trying to kill me! Who does that? A bloody brave Gryffindor that’s who. He’s got no sense.” Draco yelled- face turning red from the frustration

Dobby sat silently as he did mostly- learning about what was going on around him.

Draco would never tell him this- because his father would never allow it, but he was quite fond of Dobby. More so than any of the rest of the elves they kept in the manor.

His father had made it clear thought that elves were not their friends- they were their servants. That was the way they liked it- the way it had always been. If you treated them any differently it confused them. Draco didn’t want to confuse Dobby.

So, he continued his yelling without letting the elf know how much he appreciated having someone to listen to his problems.

“that does sound- like a problem master Malfoy.” Dobby replied.

“any danger in the world and Potter runs right into it. Can’t give the spotlight up for even a moment.” Draco rolled his eyes- willing himself finally to get out of the bed.

He was after all still a Malfoy- Malfoy’s do not sulk over boys.

Or so father said when he came back from work each day. So, if Draco wanted to avoid being lectured about his “unhealthy obsession” with that potter boy again he was meant to be downstairs before dinner was scheduled to start.

“you may go dobby.” He said dismissing the elf.

Dobby snapped and disappeared- presumably to go back down to the kitchens where he was usually kept.

Draco wished the summer would end more than anything in the world- he just wanted to go back to school. Away from his father and his harsh words about Draco’s own friends. How only half of them were up to standard and he needed to purge himself of the others.

His father imagined Salazar would be rolling in his grave these days with the “filth” they allowed into Slytherin house.

Draco didn’t quite understand the hatred his father had for his friend Damon and his mudblood mother. She was a witch after all. And Harry Potter himself was raised by muggles- but his father insisted they were dirty and disgusting.

The only mudblood he knew was Granger and she was quite rude to him at times. And he did hate her on the premise that she was good enough to be Potter’s friend and he apparently was not.

He wondered what she had that he didn’t have. After all father said Purebloods were superior at magical spells, were smarter, braver, stronger, and better all around. He wondered if maybe Granger was the exception to that rule. Because where he was standing, she seemed like she was pretty amazing at all the things she tried.

His father hadn’t been wrong yet though- so he didn’t question his teaching.

This year when Draco went to Diagon ally his father took him. Scoffing lightly as he strolled through the alleyway- cape billowing out behind him. Draco shuffled to keep up with his father’s long legs.

“come along Draco; let us see what incompetence you’ll be learning in defense this year.” He drawled sliding into the book shop with grace.

Draco nodded trying to keep up.

Of course, this year they had a new defense teacher- given that the last one had turned out to be evil and went around trying to kill students and all.

Draco hoped this one would be better but upon seeing him wasn’t exactly reassured. The guy looked like—well frankly he looked like a tool.   
  
Draco highly doubted he could learn too much from him, but he followed his father into the bookshop to pick up the multitude of books this strange man was selling as textbooks.

He found himself again slipping into the old daydream he used to have of him laughing- joking with the boy who was going to be his friend forever. Running in and out of the stacks- chasing one another throughout the store. All while his mother smiled down at them; she would take them for ice cream and Harry would smile at him and they would laugh and—

 

“Draco- Malfoy’s do not slouch.” His father hissed- breaking him from his thoughts with a stiff smack from a cane to his spine.

He straightened his back; only wincing slightly at the pain and replaced his glossy eyes with sharp ones focused on getting finished with his shopping as soon as possible and back home to his mother.  He wasn’t sure why his father had been so insistent on bringing him to diagon ally this year- but “Malfoy’s don’t argue with their superiors”. So, he hadn’t questioned it. Out loud anyway.

“yes father.” He replied pulling the books off the shelf faster than was necessary and piling them up into the cauldron they had gotten at the last shop.  This trip was taking far too long for his taste and by the time they were leaving he was filled with so much resentment he thought he would burst.

He doubted there was anything that could make it worse.

But as if the world liked to challenge him- the bell rang when the door to the shop opened once more and the very last person he needed to see at the moment waltzed through the door.

He didn’t notice Draco at first.

Why would he?

It’s not like Draco was important- its not like they were friends. Harry wasn’t going to grin- and make his way across the crowded book shop and ask him how his summer was. Wasn’t going to remind him that even if dark wizards still exist- even if they live one hall over- someone is here to fight them.

No matter how much he wanted him to.

No instead he was swept up by the writer for the prophet. Stuck on a damn pedestal and smiling next to that goon- front page news.

Draco tried not to be resentful- but nothing could quell the twisting in his stomach.

Some damn savior- He thought to himself. Taking pictures for the newspaper- couldn’t even make it to transfiguration class on time.

Draco didn’t need him- he would make new friends this year. Obviously, Potter had.

He followed his father down the stairs- Harry’s eyes finally falling on him. The easy hatred seeping their way back into what could easily have been the softest green. But instead was sharp and dark- like a dagger.

He was surrounded by an ocean of red hair and freckles and Draco couldn’t help but be angry. This wasn’t supposed to be how it was. He was supposed to be with him- laughing- joking- playing quidditch. Not doting on weselette over there with her dorky smile and her “I’m so in love with Harry Potter” face.

The words slipped from his mouth like venom. He wasn’t even sure why- but if he was miserable Potter should be too.

“oh, look Potter, you’ve got yourself a girlfriend.” He sneered.

Trying not to let the resentment show on his face- surely his father would know he was only angry because she was a Gryffindor- a bloody Weasley- truthfully not good enough for the savior of the wizarding world.

The rest of the conversation whizzed by around him- heart pounding in his throat- hoping he would regret the words he had spoken.

Hoping they came across as spiteful rather than jealous.

Hoping his father wouldn’t see it as sulking around about a boy- and the pain in his back would be the only pain he felt for today.

He followed his father as he stalked out of the book shop. Scowl etched on his features- spine straight. Focused only on what Malfoy’s did.

And Malfoy’s didn’t cry. Not even a little bit.


End file.
